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Existentialism-- Just a bloody good excuse to go riding...

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Wet & Gritty with ShroomBacon on the sides please.

It had been awhile since the last nite ride. As usual it was SNAFU. Situation Normal All Fked Up at "final inspection" time. Right around when I got off work and reach home.

Ok wet or not.. its been too long.. so screw the little puny god-of-weekend-mood-dampener. The Band of Hefty Gonads is calling your bluff of an all niter rain...

...resplendent in AWOL mode... Awesome Wall of Light that even photon challenged sports cams can appreciate and rest in the faith of Team Bright Gonadians...

Twas only natural the "26+" was further tested after the hiatus of the last two weeks of racing...

Someone said.. "err guys, rainy, rocks slick, so tonite we go slow arh"

But straddled between a pair of lewdness exuding grippy BBWs... Big Beautiful Wheels lah! ...bouncing predictably,  aided by nubile suspension damping that takes up where the rubbery airiness left off, it was more an erotic trail induced nether region massage. At the first turn into the trail I was Hell Bat One- gone Mach 1...   Mud Spa! Oooh yea Bring it on babe.

We realized this morning after sorting out the pics... we have a new riding sensation, Mr Cotton Candy Floss. Tangy Lavender Liquorice? Hmmm.

As we reach the sanctuary of faux composite wood flooring, dry from having a shelter and certainly a welcoming respite after all the gritty wetness of the trail, we might have disturbed a couple of  semi clothed primates bonding in the dark. Ok trust me it was not intentional.

But we couldn't care less about  any biological behavour on reproduction as our lateral hypothalamus were pinging basic physiological human needs as well. The real reason for the night's ride. The waft of bacon and shrooms certainly was whetting up the Ghrelin metabolic pathway as 4 sets of eye power focus on the single $2 non stick pan sizzling out sinful nitrate filled-cancer causing delights collectively known as cured meat. But hey that's why we got healthy shrooms to neutralize it eh!

And of course sterilizing agents too

Speaking of which... I was freaking out when Nick decided to crack the cap off the Hoegarden bottle.

I mean we were all casualty free up to this point from having safely crossed the road at the start in the dead of night to surviving the pedaling exodus.

Yet here His Majesty the Accident Proneness One was trying to get at the beer by mimicking a... baboon forgetting he lacked those 4 inch canines of his distant cousins! ..

"No, Nick DON"T!    F#%k it.. U  gonna break your f#gging jaw and I'm just gonna cut you up with my EDC and dispose in the bushes. Only taking your bike home."

Thankfully it was just paranoia me screaming in my own head.. Nope.. there wasn't any arboreal scorpion tonight either. Unlike the last ride ambushing our dear friend's eye.

Might just have to dwell a little more on  the delights of Scorpiones venom in simmered human eye ball if we take our food-cooking rides to the next level.

In conclusion...  We need to do this like 10x more often.

and on a personal note-- I'm not going back to skinny rims even on non fat bikes.

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